Skip to main content

Chapter 8 - Why is Luciano Pavarotti moldering in a grave and not singing Core 'N'grato to his fans in Ulaanbaatar?

     

THE STORY OF DEL - Delete

How could Del reach that place in the Cosmos where reality was negatively mirrored? There had to be a way to undo life's cruelties! Old and beautiful San Francisco used to be everybody's favorite city! It was screaming for an urgent Katrulz!


And why did Frank Sinatra have to die? Why was Luciano Pavarotti moldering in a grave and not singing Core 'Ngrato to his fans in Ulaanbaatar?


If Man had been made in the image of God, then, along with a couple of arms and legs, why hadn't they thrown in a few sprinkles of immortality? So many questions!

Damn it! This was the new Millennium. The nerds of Boston Dynamics were teaching their robots to boogaloo! So what was so hard about getting toothpaste back into the tube?!
With all of Google's AI geniuses working in their underground laboratories (purportedly floating on the blood of Cossacks), all the Kings horses and all the Kings men could surely put Humpty Dumpty back together again!
Right?
Of course!
Right?
You bet!
Are you sure?
Absolutely!

That's why crapping in front of expensive restaurants was high-tech and honest research and much more! Such activities required slow and plodding procedures. The logic was ironclad: how could there be an 'un-doodoo' without first a 'doodoo'?

And so like a deranged Conquistador of Olde searching for the Fountain of Youth, Del went on a quest for the wisdom needed to program his UN-DOODOO key, the one easy button that could righten the evermore plentiful wrongs of life!





Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 26 - For scribes and writers, the biggest design fail came from the best designer of all time!

                      THE STORY OF DEL - Delete "Hi Del, how are you feeling today?" "Still kicking, Juula." "Where were we?" "You were talking about the 4 main reasons for bothering to select text, which on handhelds, is mostly done by dragging mini-handles - a real bummer." "Right. For writers and scribes, it represents the biggest design fail of all times. Sadly foisted on humanity by the greatest design genius of all times." Minihandles! - Yecch! "All right, let's focus on deletion. Remember this?" Merry splinter Kleenex guardrail whippersnapper tear Boeing shoebox Christmas "Yes." In the preparatory "selection" phase, before effectuating the obvious deletion, it becomes this:" Merry splinter Kleenex guardrail whippersnapper tear Boeing shoebox →Christmas "What do you notice?!  "For deletion, the only text I'm interested in is the one just beyond the end of the selected words!...

Chapter 1 - From Keyboard Reject to Action Hero

THE STORY OF DEL - Delete Once upon a half-life ago, there was a guy called Del. That was his nickname, short for Delete. And he was a reliable, hard-working key on most of the world's computers. A straight-forward and regular sort of guy, he was never more prominent than any of the letters he had been charged to kill, no fatter than an 'i', no skinnier than a capital 'W' - unlike Backspace who was super-sized and flaunted a Nike-style arrow pointing hard-left ←. Some hardware companies, like Lord Macintosh, had refused Del right from the get-go, preferring to farm out his tasks to a combination of other workers like 'Function-Delete,' with 'Delete' on Sir Mac actually being Backspace ←. But then one day, for Del - the original Del - things took a bad turn, real bad! And it happened at the speed of a toilet flush vortex! Millions upon BILLIONS of small handheld flatscreen devices suddenly began to spill from the heavens - the 'STPs' - smartph...

Chapter 18 - Juula promises to get a "new and improved" DEL back on phones and tablets

                THE STORY OF DEL - Delete "Good morning, Del! Ready for the big day?" "Sure, what do you have in mind?" "A tour... to a place you've often seen but never noticed." "I like it already. Where?" "A page in MS Word." "Eh? Microsoft Word? I must've done two-thirds of all my work there - even starting before Windows. If there's one place that holds no mysteries for me!" "So you might think, my sweet bundle of mashed-up bones, so you might think!" "Okay, I believe you, number one because I have to and number two because I want to. But may I ask why?" "Yes, of course. You feel that you were unjustly removed from the telephones and tablets of the world, correct?" "Well, I can't say 'unjustly' - there wasn't any room for two deletion buttons, so they left the big guy - they left Backspace... but all right, yes, it hurts." "What if I told you I could...