Skip to main content

Chapter 10 - Investor, Warren van Buffet - (from the Lowest of the Lowlands) - pours Del's entire deficit into Amazon Stock - No Brokerage Fees

       

THE STORY OF DEL - Delete

Whatever... Lhasa or Katmandu, for the time being it was all one blurred 'Wisdom of the Orient!'

And so Del whipped out one of those new flatscreen handheld devices from which he had been so ingloriously flicked away like a green manure fly on a Parisian croissant, and began gathering information.
Number one: he'd be needing money - of course, wouldn't you know it?!  Money, always money!
But Lhasa wasn't all that expensive and flying there via Las Vegas and Helsinki would only set him back about the same as an Uber to Kansas.
It was cheap, but still considerably more than the minus $25 he had in his wallet! Wallet? What wallet? Patting his derrière, he felt that it was missing. Ah right! While smoking a dynamite Colombian strain (oddly sticky to the touch) he had invested his entire deficit in Amazon stock.
Yes, following the advice of a Dutch dude with dreadlocks called Warren Van Buffet he had diversified his portfolio.
And all for free. No brokerage fees. The only thing Van Buffet needed for the transaction was Del's passport, driver's license and social security number. Now it all came back to him. Before the ace investor had taken off, Del, on a lucid impulse, had asked: "Wait a minute man, how can anyone, let alone a road apple like me, invest MINUS twenty-five dollars?... MINUS?!" Without batting an eye, Van Buffet turned and explained: "Are you kidding?! You know what the current deficit of the USA is? 27.75 trillion dollars! Compared to that, your minus twenty-five is a fortune! It'll be a privilege for Jeffery Preston Bezos to put that precious deficit of yours to work. Not to worry, pal, not to worry, Jeff B. has got you covered... and it's all in writing!"
Whoa!
That made a whole lot of sense!







Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 15 - It gets real. Juula, an Estonian girl visits Del at the ICU - Text Editing will soon take a quantum leap forward

             THE STORY OF DEL - Delete Del came back to his senses chastising himself. Lucidity, lucidity at all costs! Machines don't beg doctors to kill patients! Lucidity, damn it!!! How is lucidity obtained when in a coma? he wondered. And as always, because of his experience, the answer came instantaneously: prayer. He mumbled a Rosary. And in the middle of a Glory Be, out of the blue but with poignant clarity, he remembered a moment well after he had been banished from the keyboards, but shortly before the 'additives' - the damned drugs - had lost their magic. He had met a marvelous Estonian girl, marvelous because she was so pure and clean and straight and unsullied by drugs or cynicism or attitudes. Juula was fresh and had honest twinkles in her eyes. Del had been entranced. But after all the bad living he'd been through (with the worst yet to come) for all he was bedazzled, he had refrained from courting her because for the first time in his l...
Post a Comment
Read more

Chapter 18 - Juula promises to get a "new and improved" DEL back on phones and tablets

                THE STORY OF DEL - Delete "Good morning, Del! Ready for the big day?" "Sure, what do you have in mind?" "A tour... to a place you've often seen but never noticed." "I like it already. Where?" "A page in MS Word." "Eh? Microsoft Word? I must've done two-thirds of all my work there - even starting before Windows. If there's one place that holds no mysteries for me!" "So you might think, my sweet bundle of mashed-up bones, so you might think!" "Okay, I believe you, number one because I have to and number two because I want to. But may I ask why?" "Yes, of course. You feel that you were unjustly removed from the telephones and tablets of the world, correct?" "Well, I can't say 'unjustly' - there wasn't any room for two deletion buttons, so they left the big guy - they left Backspace... but all right, yes, it hurts." "What if I told you I could...
Post a Comment
Read more

Chapter 1 - From Keyboard Reject to Action Hero

THE STORY OF DEL - Delete Once upon a half-life ago, there was a guy called Del. That was his nickname, short for Delete. And he was a reliable, hard-working key on most of the world's computers. A straight-forward and regular sort of guy, he was never more prominent than any of the letters he had been charged to kill, no fatter than an 'i', no skinnier than a capital 'W' - unlike Backspace who was super-sized and flaunted a Nike-style arrow pointing hard-left ←. Some hardware companies, like Lord Macintosh, had refused Del right from the get-go, preferring to farm out his tasks to a combination of other workers like 'Function-Delete,' with 'Delete' on Sir Mac actually being Backspace ←. But then one day, for Del - the original Del - things took a bad turn, real bad! And it happened at the speed of a toilet flush vortex! Millions upon BILLIONS of small handheld flatscreen devices suddenly began to spill from the heavens - the 'STPs' - smartph...
Post a Comment
Read more