Skip to main content

Chapter 4 - Del is working on something REAL BIG - but the bouncer doesn't get it

 

THE STORY OF DEL - Delete

Even in his messed-up state, Del knew it was decidedly wrong to ruin someone's $320 Carré d’agneau de Pauillac rôti en cocotte gâteau d’aubergines for any reason whatsoever…


...let alone with a ghastly spectacle of 'Turds sur la Lawn,' but there was an obsessed method to his madness, a reason behind it all that made him talk back to the cops and bouncers who'd promptly hustle him off the premises. No! He wasn't merely defecating on private property, no, no, no! It was for a noble cause, it was high-tech... it was research... it was... it was…

Once, while being hauled away, he even told the strapping bouncer that he could understand and forgive the equivocation. He himself had run a Google search and in all of human history - surely a very long time! - only 423 people had ever called crapping outside expensive restaurants 'High-Tech' or 'Research.' 423 out of the 107 billion people calculated to have ever lived on Planet Earth gave Del's claim only a zero point 00000000395327102803 per cent chance of corroboration...


...so yes, he understood the man's misgivings and had no trouble forgiving him.



Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter 26 - For scribes and writers, the biggest design fail came from the best designer of all time!

                      THE STORY OF DEL - Delete "Hi Del, how are you feeling today?" "Still kicking, Juula." "Where were we?" "You were talking about the 4 main reasons for bothering to select text, which on handhelds, is mostly done by dragging mini-handles - a real bummer." "Right. For writers and scribes, it represents the biggest design fail of all times. Sadly foisted on humanity by the greatest design genius of all times." Minihandles! - Yecch! "All right, let's focus on deletion. Remember this?" Merry splinter Kleenex guardrail whippersnapper tear Boeing shoebox Christmas "Yes." In the preparatory "selection" phase, before effectuating the obvious deletion, it becomes this:" Merry splinter Kleenex guardrail whippersnapper tear Boeing shoebox →Christmas "What do you notice?!  "For deletion, the only text I'm interested in is the one just beyond the end of the selected words!...

Chapter 18 - Juula promises to get a "new and improved" DEL back on phones and tablets

                THE STORY OF DEL - Delete "Good morning, Del! Ready for the big day?" "Sure, what do you have in mind?" "A tour... to a place you've often seen but never noticed." "I like it already. Where?" "A page in MS Word." "Eh? Microsoft Word? I must've done two-thirds of all my work there - even starting before Windows. If there's one place that holds no mysteries for me!" "So you might think, my sweet bundle of mashed-up bones, so you might think!" "Okay, I believe you, number one because I have to and number two because I want to. But may I ask why?" "Yes, of course. You feel that you were unjustly removed from the telephones and tablets of the world, correct?" "Well, I can't say 'unjustly' - there wasn't any room for two deletion buttons, so they left the big guy - they left Backspace... but all right, yes, it hurts." "What if I told you I could...

Chapter 15 - It gets real. Juula, an Estonian girl visits Del at the ICU - Text Editing will soon take a quantum leap forward

             THE STORY OF DEL - Delete Del came back to his senses chastising himself. Lucidity, lucidity at all costs! Machines don't beg doctors to kill patients! Lucidity, damn it!!! How is lucidity obtained when in a coma? he wondered. And as always, because of his experience, the answer came instantaneously: prayer. He mumbled a Rosary. And in the middle of a Glory Be, out of the blue but with poignant clarity, he remembered a moment well after he had been banished from the keyboards, but shortly before the 'additives' - the damned drugs - had lost their magic. He had met a marvelous Estonian girl, marvelous because she was so pure and clean and straight and unsullied by drugs or cynicism or attitudes. Juula was fresh and had honest twinkles in her eyes. Del had been entranced. But after all the bad living he'd been through (with the worst yet to come) for all he was bedazzled, he had refrained from courting her because for the first time in his l...